Resolve

I hesitate to publicize New Years resolutions for many reasons.  They seem very private, they showcase my shortcomings, and moreover, I haven't though of very good ones.  Hehe.

So rather than mull over them for 10 months while I think of perfect ideas and wording, as is my tendency, here they are - imperfect.

This year, I will work toward:

1.  Loving my kids well.
This is something I completely changed in September.  I had been short tempered and had parented fairly poorly for quite a few months.  In September, I hit bottom, and changed how I parent.  This is still a daily effort, so I will add it for this year.

2.  Developing a plan for Sam.
This is such a fluid issue.  I can't do this alone, but I can, and will, be proactive in working with the psychiatrists, neurologists, and school (and any other specialists) to do what is best for him.  This also means working with my ex in constructive ways, which has sent me into a tailspin of panic in the past.  I will look for Sam's best and our family's best, and not worry about how my ex perceives us.

3.  Enjoying singleness
As I leaped into singleness, I was painfully lonely, hopelessly codependent, and desperately seeking love.  Not a great place to do anything but find trouble.  So this year, I am learning to love me.  To love who I am becoming, and forgive myself for not being perfect along the way.

4.  Finding a job that suits my talents better (with insurance)
My current job is absolutely perfect for my life situation right now.  It is flexible enough to allow me to be constantly interrupted by school emergencies or appointments.  But it offers no insurance, and is only part time.  As life calms down, I would love to find a job that offers insurance and uses my talents.

5.  Better balancing work and parenting
Since my job is flexible, I feel like I spend every moment without my kids, working.  I would like to plan my time better so I have some true 'off' time to recharge and be a better parent while my kids are home.

6.  Blogging consistently and honestly
My struggle with blogging, as with life, has been how far I am willing to remove the mask.  Pretending that I'm holding life together pretty well is easy if I'm quiet.  But once I talk about my life, the ugly, scary parts trickle out, and I feel the need to hide those.  So I will be more honest - with the good and the bad.

7.  Publishing 2 patterns on Etsy
I've had 2 quilt patterns in my brain for years, and I would love to publish them this year.  This goal really also means spending a LOT more time sewing.

8.  Making a five year plan
I have always had 1, 2, and 5 year plans in my life.  They've always changed, but having those plans has been a comfort to me.  This year, with Sam's health changing so wildly, and with moving and divorce, I have no plans.  This causes undue stress.  I am going to make both financial and personal plans, and soon.

9.  Making my house a home
It seems as if the past 10 years have been about living in a house.  I want to make a home with my children.  This is both in attitude and little 'homey' decor.

Me sewing with my best helper this morning.  I've missed sewing!

What are your resolutions?  Do you write them down, or keep them in your mind?  Do you find that one way or the other is more effective?