Knock knock, who's there?

Every morning, as Sam knocks on my door at some ungodly early hour, I bolt out of bed wondering exactly who I will meet.  Will it be the confused kid who can't remember that I'm Mom?  Will it be the agitated child who just repeats "iPad, iPad, iPad" until I find it?  Will it be the calmer child who just needs iPad and breakfast *now*?  Will it be the angry child who was somehow wronged in his sleep or dreams, and is out to hurt everyone he sees?  Will it be the delusional child who mistakes me for some other relative, or some part of his dream?

This 'unknown child' has been an interesting part of our morning routines for some time now.  The other kids ask "How's Sam?" when they wake up, almost as soon as they've cuddled and said good morning.  It's just part of growing up with the unknown.

But for the last few days - the last few glorious, wonderful days - things have changed.  Sam has slept for more than 5 hours in a stretch.  He wakes up calmer - still needing the iPad immediately, but not hurting anyone.  He recognizes me.  He recognizes his siblings and doesn't try to hurt them as they get out of bed.  I've smiled and whispered "He's having a good brain day" to each of my little kids, these past few days.  Their bodies change.  Their demeanors change.  Watching their bodies physically relax, and knowing that their minds are doing the same thing, is making all the searching for help worthwhile.

We haven't reached the end of this journey by any stretch of the imagination, but having a few 'good brain days' can't be a coincidence, and we're treasuring the time that we have with "the Sam we know is in there."

Sam and mom on a good day.  He snuggled up next to me and said, "I love you," while giving me a hug!